Thursday, May 18, 2006

They're watching you

In case you've ever wondered if the clerk ringing up your stuff is paying attention to what you're buying, the answer is probably.

I've found that I can usually guess the marital status of my customer by what they buy (I only check the ring finger after I've reached a conclusion).

Divorced dads bring their kids with them to pick out food for the weekend -- it's usually pizza. Frozen pizza, not pizza dough plus ingredients. They only buy just enough food to get through the weekend.

Guys -- when (if) you retire, don't go grocery shopping with your wife. It will drive her absolutely crazy, and you'll just be bored. Ditto for her daily errands.

Metabolism aside, obese people and skinny people do shop - and eat - differently.

If you have a juicer, I bet you buy a lot of carrots. By "a lot," I mean 20 bags at a time. That's a lot of carrots.

Bringing husbands along (if the wife does all the shopping) always means a much higher grocery bill.

Saturdays are Pizza Night for a lot of Chicago's Western Suburbs.

Unless you have a ton of kids, having a reserve deep freezer is a slippery slope.

You've never known panic until you walk into your local store and they've moved the coffee.

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