Thursday, September 14, 2006

They only like us for our opposable thumbs

Last Tuesday morning saw me at the DuPage County Animal Shelter to clean out the cat room. I've taken to listening to my IPod while working, in an effort to conserve my last few shreds of sanity.* The last few weeks someone has been letting almost all the cats out of their cages Monday night; Tuesday morning therefore sees me chasing everyone around with a microchip reader in a desperate attempt to restore order. This particular morning I was trying to convince Toonces that I was not a Bad Person when I felt several prickles on my right leg. Whirl around to be almost face-to-ear with Flocko, an adolescent black longhair.

He was hanging in the vicinity of my waist by three paws -- YES, ON MY PANTS -- using the fourth to investigate the headphones' cord, swatting happily away and asking me What's This For?

I spent the afternoon at my mother-in-law's, attending to our Laundry Problem. Since I'm there alone in the evenings (MIL works evenings), I use Tuesday supper to explore those area culinary offerings which do not tempt the Husband. This particular week was White Castle Week.** I curled up in an armchair with my two miniscule Cheeseburger Like Objects, a small pile of fries and a book when Missy, Cat-in-law Number Two, decided to join me. -- Or, rather, join my fries.

She gave the plate a few tentative sniffs, then an exploratory lick on a fry. Hmm, she said. I've Had Better. She sat down, still ruminating. But Then, I've Had Worse. She then proceeded to lick over the entire pile of fries, hunkering down next to the plate and purring away. Finally she came upon The One she had been searching for, snatched up the fry and dashed away.

Mother-in-Law and Husband agree that this is simply the way Missy eats fries. If you try to give her one of her Very Own, she sits in a huff and ignores it, because it Wasn't The Right One.


* Excerpt from this week's Running Commentary while working:

Flocko [looking out the window into the rabbit cages in the lobby]: What's That Thing? Can I Eat It?

Mac: YOU DIDN'T LET ME AND MY SISTER OUT LONG ENOUGH!! I TIMED! IT'S OUR TURN, AND FOR LONGER THIS TIME!!!!

Rose: You Missed A Spot On The Floor! Right Over There! Here -- Let Me Out And I'll Show You!

Matilda:
[Matilda and I aren't speaking currently. I never let her back in her cage when she wants back in -- which is mid-cleaning -- and she spends the rest of the time looking Hurt and Accusing. This happens every week.]

Rally: You!! I Don't Like You! Yeah -- You Over There, Behind The Human!

Mac: ... AND WE HAVEN'T BEEN OUT IN FOREVER AND EVER AND YOU'RE JUST SO MEAN ...

Cali: I Think I Left My Favorite Jingle Ball Up On The Climbing Tree! Help!

Misty: Is That My Brother?? I Think I Hear My Brother!! Yell If It's You!!

It's maddening. Thus the IPod, using only one earbud so I don't miss all of the conversation and can point out to Mac that claiming to have timed an outing is ridiculous when one is not in posession of a timepiece.


** Never, ever again. Ever.

1 comment:

Neb said...

Very entertaining. :-)